Do you ever have those moments where you just aren't sure why but you just don't feel happy? I am stuck in one of those moods right now. I tried to read a depressing blog that I know of, just so that I would realize that my life is good, but that only made things worse. Now I am sitting here thinking, "why can't life be even a little more fair?" Good people have crappy things happen to them.. I know that there is always a greater reason than I will pretend to understand. I really just don't feel like myself this last week and I am really hoping that feeling goes away. My sister is here from Idaho and I LOVE having her and her wonderful kids around! There really is no real reason that I shouldn't be extremely happy. (I usually am extremely happy and wouldn't change anything in my life.) I have a great husband and a wonderful family and good friends. I wish I had a few closer friends. I have let myself drift away from the close friends that I used to have. I guess that just happens when you get married and you all go your own ways. It is such a weird time in my life because Jeff and I are no longer newly-weds and we aren't parents yet so we are at this weird in between stage and that makes things a little interesting when it comes to a social life. I cannot wait for the day when we are parents and I can only hope and pray that we will be even just semi-decent parents. I want to be a better person and I know I have it in me to be. I just sometimes lose the energy and motivation to just simply be better. There are so many things that I want to change. I want to be healthy and more physically fit (working on that one but wish I had even more motivation), I want to give more time to charitable causes. I want to make time to do random acts of kindness and look for ways to serve. I feel like I have really let myself get too comfortable with where I am in life. I am not trying hard enough to reach the goals I have set for myself and my family (I know, there are only two of us) I really love Jeff and he never fails to love me unconditionally, even with all of my weird quirks. He puts up with a lot and I think I definitely married above myself. I really need to find the ambition and inner strength too start putting this feelings towards something productive. Sorry this blog is so serious and boring but I figured it was my blog and I wanted to write how I was feeling down to see if that would help me get over being lame. Sorry that you just read this entire blog and wasted all that time. :)
I tried to upload pictures of the house today and it didn't work so I guess for now it's just all words :)
I also just realized when I read this how terribly self centered it is. Sorry!
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Summer be gentle with yourself. It's a hard week for you but there will be better ones to come. I can come help you put pictures on your blog. I went through a totally unmotivated time just a few months ago and I don't know how I got out of the funk but I just made at least one easy goal every day and as long as I did that one thing I felt a little better about myself. You are great. You'll be your happy self again soon.
ReplyDeleteSummer you are way to hard on yourself and even if its not better now it will be "this to shall pass". Love ya and think of you. Call if you need anything and your post wasn't a waste of time.
ReplyDeleteIt's the climb.... that song sometimes is the only thing that gets me through the day! :) Just know that there is always someone thinking about you! Your an amazing person and I'm glad to call you my friend! I've learned many things from you and you will always be someone I look up to! :) Love you Summer! :D
ReplyDeleteThought of this after reading your post. Love you!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nczw6xHJ0I