Discouragement and Blessings...all in one!

Do you ever feel really bummed and you can't figure out exactly why? I keep having this feeling day to day. Sometimes it is just stupid and small insignificant things that get me discouraged. However, sometimes it feels like there are things that always seem to get me down that I should be used to by now but never seem to be okay with. I really was hoping it wouldn't take us a year after we lost our baby to get pregnant again but January will be a year and it doesn't look like we will be pregnant before then. It is just taking us so much longer than we anticipated. I also hate it when I decide to trust someone and later find out that I shouldn't have or you trust them and they only make you feel worse about things. I am usually pretty private about the things that are really close to my heart, so when I talk about things I like to tell people I know I can trust.  I am in such a bummer of a place right now. I am trying really hard to be positive and I do have plenty of things I am really grateful for but it is still so hard sometimes to love the exact place you at in life. Maybe I am just being totally negative and need to find a way to be positive. There are some things I am thrilled about right now also. My mother and father in-law are coming out on Tuesday for a whole WEEK and I am so excited!! Most people don't love their in-laws and I have had a lot of people tell me how crazy I am for looking forward to having my in-laws out here but they are honestly wonderful people. My father in law is SO helpful and always helps us with projects around the house we want to get done. This week we are finally going to put a water line to the fridge so that I can have ice and filtered water in the fridge instead of no ice and having to fill up a Brita pitcher everyday. We are also going to find a way to put some ceiling lights in the family room because it isn't lit well enough in that room and lamps aren't cutting it. I think my mother-in-law and I are going to paint the guest bedroom and a few other random projects.

  Jeff is in school and gets really grouchy about it sometimes and blames me because I am the one that wanted him to go back and get his MBA since it will only be harder the older we get and once we start having kids. I will be so glad when that is out of the way and I am sure he will be too. In the mean time I get to deal with a very grouchy husband a few days a week. Fun huh? To top all this off, I bought him the new Modern Warfare xbox 360 game and I am all ready regretting it. He is doing one of two things all the time...homework or that STUPID game! It is such a waste of time. Oh well, I guess.

 I have recently realized that I have the greatest job in the world. I watch the two cutest little kids in the world.. The little boy, Braxton, will be 2 in January and he has my heart. I love him so much. He might as well be related to me for how much I love this little man. The 6 year old's name is Riley and she is so funny and sweet. She is very spoiled and I love her also. They are probably the family that I have most quickly bonded with and I get to watch them twice a week and I got to get rid of the other families I watched. I miss some of them but I have easily made up for it by loving this family I work for now.  They make my days go by so quickly and fill them with so much happiness and love.

It is the week of Thanksgiving and I can't wait to spend the week with my family and Jeff's parents. They are all so fun. Last year we were blessed enough for Jeff's parents to come out over Christmas and we still got to spend Christmas Eve with my family too. Not very often do two families get along that well. I wish they could come out for Christmas again this year but Thanksgiving will work too. I am also almost more excited to go black Friday shopping than I am about Thanksgiving. Yesterday I went to Costco and Greg Olsen was there signing pictures of his, so I bought a BEAUTIFUL picture of Christ and had him address it to me and Jeff and sign it.

Last week my cute niece MaKenna got baptized and she looked beautiful and told me that immediately felt different and that she had a special feeling right after being confirmed. I am so proud of her. In a little less than 2 months we finally get another nephew. This will be the third one and Mike and Holly's first boy. I can't wait to have a new baby around. If I can't have one yet it might as well be someone I can go see whenever I want to and can love just as much. Jeff's work is starting to get busier and offer overtime which is always nice. This last week I was able to spend lots of time with different friends and reconnect with a few friends I haven't seen for a long time and it was so fun to see that I have those friendships that can stay the same no matter how long it's been since I have seen them. During these last couple weeks when I have been so discouraged and bummed out I have been blessed immensely with a good friend who has listened to me and been there through it all. I am pretty sure she knows who she is and would like to thank her for being there and being such a great friend. She has also been having a tough time but has still made sure she was there for me. I hope I have done the same for her. Thanks girl!!

This Christmas we decided instead of a gift swap with siblings we would do a funny t-shirt swap. I am really pretty excited to see what we all end up with. The most extremely funny and inappropriate people in my family have me and Jeff for the swap so I will be surprised if I get a shirt that I can actually where in public. It will be pretty entertaining. I will post the two we buy closer to Christmas. They are pretty dang funny. I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving! Thanks for reading while I vent about things I probably shouldn't even be complaining about since my life is pretty amazing and blessed.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!! I can't wait to put up the tree and lights on the house for Christmas this week!!!

P.S. I had a friend try and help me load a picture and it didn't work, so you are going to have to been content with just words :)