Life Events

Well I haven't written in 1 1/2 months and I have every intention of making this blog private but it takes time that I apparently don't want to take. I will someday...probably not even soon. Today I feel extremely blessed. Let me catch up on the past month and a half. Last time I posted I briefly mentioned that Jeff had a job opportunity in Texas and that it wasn't anything. Well, that job has officially become our next adventure. We move to Texas on August 22nd. I have never been there other than to Galveston to go on a cruise and literally drove from the airport to the pier and back. Last night I was so anxious that we were leaving so soon to such a foreign (not literally, although, it is Texas...) place. I have never lived more than 1 hour from my family. I am super close to my family. I have a brand new baby. I am still getting used to my life as a mom and now we are moving away from everything familiar. I know it is the right thing for us. I know that we will love it. At the same time it is terrifying to leave the comfort of what has been my life for the last 26 years. It is a great opportunity and things seem to be falling into place. We made this decision not having a strong conformation that it was the right thing. I think Heavenly Father gives us a brain for a reason and often let's us make decisions and then steps in to inform us whether it is the right or wrong one. This is one of those times. We made the decision and only now is it starting to feel really right. We are fortunate to be moving out there with some good friends, so I am sure that will be a huge blessing. We will live in corporate housing for 45 days and during that time we plan to find a house and settle in for at least 2 years. I am hoping that we love it and don't want to leave. My family has not been super thrilled with this decision. My dad has jokingly (sort of) rescinded his witness to our wedding and said we don't have his permission to leave the state. My mom is sad and my siblings are sad. It has been hard not having anyone excited for us, really. But, that's okay. I guess I am glad that they like us. It is hard to know that Jamison won't be familiar with my family very much and will have to get used to them for the first little bit of his life. I am having such mixed emotions. I am excited but yet I am terrified. I know it will be an amazing opportunity to strengthen my testimony and give me a chance for the first time to live what I believe when it is not common or popular. We had to give our cats away. That was super hard. I sobbed for the first time since Jamison was born and my hormones were insane. To say the least this will be a very big adventure and I am sure it will be great. I just am not good with things being in limbo. Knowing we are moving to a place I have never been and hoping to love it and find something that feels like home there is scary and I have never been good at waiting. We have 3 weekends left counting this one (it's Friday). There is little time to see everyone and do the things we want before we leave. Moving on (literally).  :)

      Last night, while I was stressing about moving I stumbled upon this blog, http://aniandmatttaylor.blogspot.com/2011/03/prayers.html. It is such a sad, inspirational, spiritual, moving, heart breaking, motivational story. Long story short this family lost their sweet baby girl at 7 months due a liver disease that is 1 in 1,000,000. She was waiting for a liver transplant and they literally had to watch their baby slip away slowly. Painfully. I sat there balling my eyes out at times and feeling SO blessed. Jamison is my life. I don't know what I did before him but whatever it was, it was meaningless in comparison to life as a mom, life as his mom. This little boy gives me a reason to wake up and live life with joy, happiness, pure bliss. He is seriously so cute. I can't get enough of him. He is learning every day and it fascinating and super exciting. At this point (I realize they become toddlers and this will all change :)) I could have 20 kids. As cheesy as it is, I feel like I was born to be a mom. I have no desire to be anything else in my life. After reading that blog I was also sad for selfish reasons. I don't think I truly ever felt the loss of James. Now that we have Jamison I truly understand what we lost. Having never had a baby before I didn't know what we were missing out on. After reading about this families loss I am hoping I don't take for granted the blessing I enjoy with my baby. Heavenly Father truly loves us to trust us with his perfect children. I can't wait to have other kids and enjoy every minute with each one.

That is all I can think of at this time. I am sure I will be blogging plenty from Texas since I will be too scared to get lost and venture out. :)